Anal Sex Guide: 10 Questions Everyone Needs Answered

Anal sex guide: Everything you need to know.
Anal sex guide: Everything you need to know.

Personal lubricant and personal lubricants that are specially for anal sex are part of a satisfied sex life and can help improve your well-being. Your mind needs to be free to explore your sexual desires. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a beginner or an expert in anal sex, here you’ll find everything you need to know or remember. Read on to discover the all-important answers to some frequently asked questions, and clear up any myths and uncertainties so you can feel free and safe to go on an anal adventure in the future.

Contents of the Anal Sex Guide:

  1. How should I prepare for anal sex?
  2. Why is personal lubricant essential for anal sex?
  3. Is anal sex a good idea for sex novices?
  4. Why is arousal through anal play worth the effort?
  5. What mistakes might you make with anal sex?
  6. Why is anal sex for everyone?
  7. Does the butt need to be stretched first?
  8. What positions are best for anal sex?
  9. How do I reach an anal orgasm?
  10. How do I use anal sex toys and which should I choose?

How should I prepare for anal sex?

As we also mentioned in our personal lubricant guide: personal lubricant is ESSENTIAL for every sex practice. We’ve said it before – there are many good reasons for using personal lubricant. But when preparing for anal sex, it is also essential to talk about it. So, if you’ve not yet done it, take a look at this post.

The best way to prepare yourself:

  • Open communication & come to an agreement 😉

    Broach the subject with your partner and talk openly about whether you both actually want to do it. What exactly do you want to happen the first time you have anal sex, what things do you need, which personal lubricant will you use?

  • Make sure you’re relaxed, clean, & there’s plenty of foreplay

    Are you relaxed, or do you need a bit of help? Is hygiene what’s causing the “block” or do you just want more foreplay to get you in the mood? The more aroused you are, the more relaxed you’ll be and the more you’ll enjoy anal sex. 😉

  • Be gentle and penetrate slowly

    Whether it’s with a penis, finger or an anal sex toy: start things off gently. If you’re unsure about what you like or your partner wants, you can try using an anal toy first, or even your finger, to see how it feels to be penetrated from behind.

Why is personal lubricant essential for anal sex?

A generous amount of personal lubricant is absolutely essential for pleasurable anal sex. The butt doesn’t have any natural lubrication, so we all need personal lubricants.
Personal lubricants and special anal products can also make you even more relaxed and far more secure, no matter what you want to try.

Is anal sex a good idea for sex novices?

Naturally anal sex is a bigger challenge for “sex novices” (potentially younger people who are only beginning to discover their sexuality) than for those who have known for a long time what they want through the “back door”.
Even so, as a sex novice you shouldn’t reject anal sex out of hand. With the right preparation, consent from your partner and enough information, there’s nothing stopping you trying it. Very important: use condoms to protect yourself from illnesses and include foreplay; this will alleviate any worries for beginners.

Why is arousal through anal play worth the effort?

With anal sex, getting aroused slowly is critical to finding out what you want and don’t want. And it’s definitely worth it; the more than 2000 nerve endings around the butt mean that almost everyone finds anal sex stimulating. Some butts are even built in such a way that they experience particularly intense orgasms.

Anal play is worth the effort.
Anal play is worth the effort.

What mistakes might you make with anal sex?

We would say that anal sex without personal lubricant is the biggest mistake! Because as we’ve said above, the lack of natural lubrication means that unfortunately nothing will happen without a suitable personal lubricant.
But of course, you should also not make the mistake of ignoring what we call the critical “PCCF”: “Prepare, Consent, Communicate, Foreplay”.

If you haven’t gone through these 4 stages first, you absolutely need to rectify this so as not to make any mistakes. Because there is nothing worse than not knowing what you’re doing, or failing to communicate that you want to try anal sex or actually don’t consent to it at all.

This is really important, because if only one partner wants to head off on an anal adventure, and the other is just “going along with it”, the mood can suddenly change.
You should also always make sure you incorporate foreplay and use enough personal lubricant so that the experience is more relaxed and more arousing for everyone. We can’t say that often enough.
Otherwise, if you remember PCCF, you won’t make too many mistakes. Injuries only happen if you forget about personal lubricant, foreplay and preparation.

Why is anal sex for everyone?

Everyone has a butt! And that is why anal sex is for everyone. It doesn’t matter what your sexual orientation is, or your identity.
The butt has countless nerve endings that react to being stimulated, and almost everyone enjoys it. But of course, it’s completely OK if not everyone likes anal sex or wants to try it. Everyone should feel free to do what feels good for them, so long as it doesn’t hurt someone else.

Does the butt need to be stretched first?

Generally, yes, it’s recommended to stretch the butt first. It doesn’t matter whether you use fingers, lips / mouth or anal sex toys / a butt plug. It’s just important that the body is prepared as much as possible and the butt has “time” to get used to being touched.

Best positions for anal sex.
Best positions for anal sex.

What positions are best for anal sex?

For beginners we recommend the following positions:

  • The Sphinx
  • The Elephant
  • The Spoons sex position

If you have a bit more experience, you can try these positions too:

  • Doggy style
  • Missionary
  • Standing
  • Cowgirl position

Find out more here.

How do I reach an anal orgasm?

By stimulating the anal opening, the butt, the butt cheeks and the prostate or around the clitoris with fingers, penis, anal sex toys or mouth / lips. It doesn’t matter how you stimulate the area around the butt, you can have an anal orgasm. Stimulating the butt and clitoris / penis or prostate at the same time often triggers an anal orgasm very quickly. But anal orgasms can also come about by indirectly stimulating the clitoris, clitoris crura and vaginal opening. Find out more about multiple anal orgasms here.

How do I use anal sex toys and which should I choose?

Always use personal lubricant and a toy cleaner before you use anal sex toys. Then you can insert them however you like, either into yourself or into your partner. Just remember PCCF! And, very important: only use special anal sex toys for the butt, never “normal” sex toys. Because we would hate for you to end up in hospital right after a fantastic orgasm.
Read how to use anal sex toys here.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been talking about anal sex: discover what feels good without giving yourself a label. Enjoy a satisfying sex life! Always.



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