Love and sexuality mean something different to each of us and can be just as varied and diverse. On top of gender and sexual orientation, sex practices are also part of many people’s sex life. We try to give all sexualities, gender identities, and also sex practices the space they need. Which is why today we’re looking at the sex practices cuckolding, candaulism & wife-sharing. Have you heard of them, or maybe even tried them already?
Sex practices – an exclusive element of the BDSM scene?
Not anymore! Special sex practices are increasingly arousing more general interest in the mainstream. Maybe it’s because people want to have a go themselves, or perhaps they just stimulate their own fantasies. And that’s great, because having these kinds of fantasies or wanting to try out different sex practices should be normal, not a taboo. We should all live the sex life that satisfies us. So, if you want to try out the following sex practices, we encourage you to go for it!
What is cuckolding?
Having sex with someone who’s not your partner is an absolute no-go in most relationships. But that is exactly what the sex practice cuckolding is all about. Generally, the man watches his partner have sex with another person. He himself is just an observer and enjoys being humiliated. He is completely passive and devoted, and is aroused by how mortified he is as a result of his partner having sex with someone else. Cuckolding is primarily about humiliation, power games and submission.
The term “cuckolding” comes from the English “cuckoo” or the French “coucou”, and refers to another man essentially sleeping in the established nest of another woman. The man who watches their girlfriend/wife having sex with another man is called a “cuckold”. But it’s not just men who get aroused watching their partner have sex with someone else. Women also seem to be turned on by watching their partner have sex with another person. In this case, the woman is called the “cuckquean”.
To take cuckolding up a notch and even more obviously dominate the “cuckold”, they can be forced to be purely an observer if they wear a chastity belt.
So, while the observing partner is the “cuckold”, their partner is generally referred to as “hotwife” and the third person in the group as “bull” or “stallion”.
What is candaulism?
Candaulism is also about becoming sexually aroused through observing. The word comes from Greek mythology and was coined by the German-Austrian doctor Richard von Krafft-Ebing. In Greek mythology, the king of Lydia Candaules secretly presented his beautiful wife naked to his friend Gyges. Voyeurism and the resulting sexual stimulation are therefore a cornerstone of this sex practice. It can be about watching as your partner exposes themselves or is satisfied in front of a third person. It is also often called candaulism when the partner is desired by another person and the man enjoys watching this. Or if the partner only looks at pictures of sex with another person, or even just talks about it.
But you’ve got the wrong idea if you think it’s just another name for voyeurism. Although it keeps coming up here, voyeurism is where someone is observed without their knowledge. Candaulism, however, involves the consent of everyone concerned.
What makes it different from cuckolding is the cause or reason why the observer is turned on. Cuckolding is all about the humiliation and mortification of watching your partner have sex with someone else. With candaulism, however, the action of observing is what makes the whole thing so exciting.
What is wife-sharing?
The initial implication is that wife-sharing is another word for “wife swap”, and you might assume that it’s exactly what it is. But it’s actually the complete opposite: the focus here is on satisfying the woman. A couple invites a man to have a threesome. The main idea is that the woman can live out her fantasies in a protected space. The “wife sharer”, in other words the partner or man of the woman, is there – unlike in cuckolding – and actively takes part in the lovemaking.
There might be several reasons why this sex practice is gaining in popularity. Firstly, the appeal of something forbidden plays a role, as does jealousy. Secondly, there’s the competition between the two men, as the “wife sharer” has to prove himself in bed to his wife all over again, but this time in comparison with the other man.
With the natural exception of wife-sharing, where the focus is on the woman – generally the sex practices we’ve talked about are not just limited to the genders described above. A woman can watch her partner while she has sex with another man or another woman. And of course, in wife-sharing a woman can also be the wife sharer and share their partner with another woman. Sexuality knows no bounds!
Trying something out, sharing your fantasies and being open to new things are all an important part of your sex life. It’s also the only way to get the sex life that satisfies you and that you deserve. But when you’re doing something new, it’s also always important that all the people taking part consent and have agreed exactly what will happen. It can also be a good idea to have a safe word which anyone can use to stop things from going any further if it isn’t exactly how you’d imagined it.
Sex practices are no longer just a part of the BDSM world; they also have a real role to play in “ordinary” relationships. Everyone should be able to live their sexual fantasies – naturally with the consent of all those involved!
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Comment from the editorial team: The contents of the blog always and equally include same-sex relationships, even if heterosexuality is shown as an example.
Image Sources: pexels-cottonbro-4980313, pexels-lucas-mendes-7147138