Sex has recently become more important in every age group and every type of relationship. But we have a feeling that not many conversations are being had about enjoying sex when you’re over 50. Is this true? And if so, why? Here at pjur, it goes without saying that we want to see more sex, passion and intimacy – regardless of how old you are. So let’s take a look at why sex is so important, what kind of sex different age groups are having and how you can enjoy sex more whatever your age.
The importance of sex
“The older you get, the less sex you have.” There’s definitely something wrong with this statement. After all, what’s the secret to long-term relationships? It’s certainly not a lack of sex! We are all sexual beings and there’s no reason why the desire to come together with another person and to experience intimacy, closeness and a connection should decrease as we get older. So let’s take a quick look at why sex is so important.
Sex is vital for the body, mind and soul. When we have sex, we can touch each other, become one, and experience ourselves and our energy. We know that sex itself is important and that it can be healthy and relaxing even without an orgasm. And if you do have an orgasm, this flushes out lots of stress hormones from your brain and produces oxytocin, which makes us feel warm and fuzzy and loved, and also gives us a sense of belonging. Sex is therefore the best overall state of relaxation for our bodies, minds and souls. It can have a regenerative effect on our cells and motivate and inspire our minds.
Forget the clichés
So the cliché of “the older you are, the less sex you have” simply isn’t true. Even though people over 50 may not talk about sex as much in public and – supposedly – do not get as much enjoyment from it, studies show that women over 50 in particular report a marked improvement in sex. In this article, we take a closer look at the reasons behind this and find out what kind of sex the over-50s are actually having.
Sex at any age
It’s fair to say that female desire is still a bit of an enigma. So it’s even more interesting to see how people over 50 deal with it. According to studies, sex for women over 50 is a more intense, tender and thrilling experience. At the same time, the pressure to perform and have an orgasm has decreased at this age. So are these women benefitting from their experience and do they know more about what they like? The answer is a resounding yes! And it’s not just women who know what they like. Their partners over the age of 50 place more importance on creating a connection during sex and know what “buttons” to push. As we found out in this article, a lot of work still needs to be done in educating people on female anatomy and female desire.
Younger women in their 20s and 30s in particular are often on a journey of self-discovery until they are in their 40s. On top of this, women in their 50s generally have a more relaxed relationship with themselves, their bodies and their sexuality. This makes it easier for them to be more relaxed during sex and have more intense orgasms.
We’re going one step further, though, because it’s not just people in their 50s who are having more sex than we think. According to a study in the US, 42 percent of 60- to 69-year-old women and every fifth woman over 75 has vaginal sex and practices different sex techniques. Of course, people in these age groups can face certain obstacles such as vaginal dryness, problems with impotency, illness and limited mobility. At the same time, though, people over 60 also usually have more time ad peace of mind for sex.
What kind of sex do people over 60 have?
When it comes to sex in older generations, ANYTHING can and does happen – from quickies and vanilla sex to pornos. After all, sex remains very important to us for as long as our bodies and general state of health allow. Admittedly, there is less tendency to explore new things and the frequency of sex may decline, but older people still practice almost all techniques. In general, sex becomes more about a sense of belonging and, in many cases, about experiencing your own masculinity or femininity or creating an erotic mood, all things that we tend to experience less of as we age.
Singles and couples aged between 50 and 69 in particular have discovered sex on the Internet, at the very latest since the start of the pandemic. So it’s fair to say that sex stays just as enjoyable as you age and, in fact, it can even be more pleasurable. Especially if you consider that just a few years ago, people had to pluck up the courage to visit a sex shop. Now, you can find everything online and get the right inspiration to spice up your sex life.
So let’s finish with five exclusive tips that you can use to stoke the flames of passion in your sex life regardless of how old you are.
Our five tips for exciting sex at any age
From tantra through slow sex workshops to orgasmic meditation and sex positivity, the Internet is full of sex seminars that can improve your sex life regardless of your age or the type of relationship you’re in. Take a look at what’s out there and try some out.
- “BE YOU, BE ME”
As we age, we get used to a sexual routine where one person assumes the “more active” role and the other the “more passive” role. This doesn’t usually change if everyone is happy with the sex. But what happens if we switch roles here? It can be an extremely erotic experience and also deepen our understanding of our relationship. Sometimes, we can start to expect certain things from our partner. Switching these roles can free us from this routine and create space for desire and passion.
A short excursion to recharge your batteries is good for everyone and every relationship. So why not plan a sex vacation, or sexcation as it’s also known? The destination is initially not that important. What counts is that both partners feel happy there and that you’ve planned enough time for some tenderness, intimacy and sex. Why not try a camping trip with some sex under canvas? Or maybe an all-inclusive package in a luxury hotel is more your thing? A mindfulness or yoga retreat could also be a good idea here.
- SEX BOX
If you’re not planning an actual sexcation, you can still pack all the main benefits of a sex trip into a small box. You can write little notes and create a fantasy box, which you can then use spontaneously to make your “wishes” come true. All you have to do is write down what turns you on in bed, what you think is missing or what you’re really keen to try out. This not only creates a new give-and-take during sex but also makes things sexy and exciting.
- “MIRROR ME GAME”
You can also make this game part of a seminar, your sexcation or a sex box. The “mirror me game” is a tool that you can use to spice up sex in a relationship and try out new things regardless of how old you are. The aim of the game is simple but effective – to show your partner what turns you on and then to have them “copy” this. The only condition is that you are not allowed to touch, you can only copy the other person’s movements. This allows you to find out things that you may not have realized and it also increases desire and sexual tension as you wait until you can touch each other again. It’s a sure-fire way to reach an orgasm. But it goes without saying that both partners have to consent beforehand.
Extra tip: For online seminars on slow sex, for games or when using your sex box, it always pays to have some pjur personal lubricant on hand to ensure pleasurable sensations and relaxing sex and to make sure nothing gets in the way of your pleasure.
So we’ve looked at why sex is so important, what kind of sex different age groups are having and how you can enjoy sex more whatever your age. Last but not least, it’s up to you to make your own rules. Don’t let any preconceived ideas, supposed rules or entrenched practices ruin your enjoyment of sex. No matter how old you are! After all, it’s about what you like. Whatever feels good or right for others doesn’t have to apply to you.
Editor’s note: The content of this blog always includes same-sex relationships, even if the examples given are of heterosexual relationships.