Sometimes you need to do it all – particularly when it comes to taking care of your intimacy and sexual desires. Your intimacy is just as important to us as your intimate area and, of course, we can directly and actively help you in that regard with our lubricant formulas. But what about intimacy, feelings, and personal development? Is there a way to “top up” these parts of your life too? At pjur, we want to encourage you to take a closer look at yourself, and decide to proactively “nourish yourself”, both mentally and physically. So, how can you nurture your intimacy and understand your sexual desires better? Let’s take a look.
Sex vs. intimacy
Sex and intimacy are two different things, which makes it even more important to nurture intimacy. Intimacy is often more important than sex, particularly in long-term relationships. Intimacy establishes levels of closeness, trust, and commitment that are rare in casual sexual relationships. Which of course doesn’t mean that one-night stands are bad; far from it, they can actually teach you a lot about your own intimacy and desires. Giving time to intimacy outside of sex will help you connect more during sex – it’s as simple as that!
You might find it helps to regularly think about the following aspects of intimacy:
- Past experiences
- Core values
- Worries or concerns
- Fantasies and sexual desires
What is intimacy?
If you’re now asking yourself what intimacy actually means, then you’re on the right track. Nurturing your own intimacy is a cognitive process within your emotional world. It is only by truly discovering what intimacy means that we can develop it for ourselves or others. But just so we don’t leave you in the dark, let’s say that intimacy is “being accepted” for everything that makes us who we are. This includes accepting yourself with all your feelings and needs and accepting each other in a loving way within a relationship. And to be able to do that, naturally we have to be happy in ourselves.
You can’t meet someone if you don’t show who you truly are – and that goes for sex too
Within a relationship, the feeling of intimacy is often described as “being physically accepted by your partner,” which then acts as a kind of “emotional fuel” in the relationship, which we use to draw strength from, both as “I” and as “we.” Sex then becomes the most intimate and sensual way to satisfy an existential longing: to show our true selves! Of course, during sex we are always physically undressed or naked, but intimacy involves taking another step, as we honestly show ourselves “without disguise.” When we and our partner accept ourselves like this and make it physically obvious, then this fills an enormous self-fulfillment chasm, which in turn takes sex to a whole new level.
Another way to nurture the intimacy between you and your partner is …
Self-reflection and communication
Although it might feel like work, from time to time you should write down your feelings, desires, and wishes and assess them. This is the only way to develop yourself and also nurture intimacy with yourself. So, how do you get started? Take a notebook or pad and a pen and begin by writing down your feelings and assessing them.
>If you are single, you can focus completely on your own feelings and draw up a current status for your personal development.
>If you are in a relationship of any kind, you can assess your own feelings and desires or claims on your partner. Naturally, it’s a good idea if your partner also answers these questions.
Here we go:
- Reflect honestly and ask yourself how would you rate your current levels of happiness on a scale of one to ten?
- Are you truly being “your true self” in your relationship with yourself or with others, or are you still holding back?
- Do past experiences worry you?
- What feelings are you currently focusing on? Are you running away from repressed feelings?
- In what areas are you happy and where is there still potential for growth (examples are: job, friends, family, communication, relationship – quality time, affection, sex life, etc.)
- What unfulfilled wishes or desires do you have in which area?
- Do you have fantasies and sexual desires that you still want to explore?
Then choose a suitable, stress-free time to push yourself and explore new avenues, or initiate an open discussion with your partner about how you can mutually fulfil the desires you’ve identified. In particular, sexual desires can reveal a lot about your wishes and feelings, so don’t shy away from admitting to or talking about them.
>Once you’ve done that, you will be able to decide how you are going to nurture and foster (physical and emotional) intimacy. And again, you can also nurture your intimacy with yourself if you’re single. All you have to do is think about points 1–7 listed above and try them out on yourself. If you’re good to yourself, that will be good for a current or future relationship. 😊
>In a relationship it can sometimes be more complicated, as you have to assess the feelings of at least two people equally. In this case, it can help if you introduce routines that provide space for open discussion. For example, you can start by taking the time each evening before bed to talk about the things you are each grateful for. This gives the chance for feelings and issues to come up again and again, which you can then discuss.
Because it’s your intimacy, only use the best premium lube
If you’re taking time to be intimate, you should also take your time choosing your lubricant. As you become clear on what your aims are for intimacy, you should also make sure that you invest enough time, use lubricants with the best quality and consistency, and find out more about their quality.
The pjur “Intimacy Box” is the perfect combination of products, as it comes with two pjur med premium silicon– and water-based lubricants, an informative booklet, and a high-quality vanity bag, to motivate you to try something new every day. In particular, you can explore Point 7 extensively with the pjur med premium lubricants. The certified quality means you are free to fully focus internally on your intimacy and sexual desires.
We’ve looked at how you can nurture intimacy, and how you identify sexual desires. It’s not enough to just focus on physical intimacy. You need to work on your feelings and self-reflection. When we start to recognize within ourselves what true intimacy means for us, then we can use that self-knowledge within any relationship. True intimacy means that every day you learn more about your desires, feel more secure, and drop your guard. So, “nourish yourself,” and use the best premium lubricant. Because you deserve the best. 😊
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