Having gaps in your knowledge can be a terrible thing. Especially when it comes to sexuality. Let’s face it, our knowledge of the facts of life or sex education could definitely be improved – at any age in life! So let’s take a closer look at why sex education is so important and what we wish we had learnt about sex earlier on in life.
Why sex education is so important
Many of us may still remember the “talk” we had with our parents or sex education lessons at school. If sex was mentioned at all, then words like vagina, sperm and penis were more likely to be whispered than spoken about clearly and confidently. Contraception was discussed in a purely necessary, superficial way, and any information about diseases was very rudimentary. And as for sexuality, pleasure, consent, masturbation and same-sex intercourse – there wasn’t much about that as far as we can remember. Yet sex education is the foundation for fulfilling sex and intensive orgasms in relationships later on in life!
The road to a fulfilling sex life for everyone who wants to have sex would definitely have been shorter if we had been told out about the following things in sex education:
Sex doesn’t hurt
Sex shouldn’t be painful! Of course, we may sometimes experience pain during sex but that isn’t necessarily normal. Regardless of what you were told in the past or what you may have experienced yourself, you don’t have to put up with pain during sex! It’s important to talk about it, whenever and wherever you can! If you experience pain or dryness during sex, you should talk about it with your partner, gynaecologist or urologist. Because sex should be wonderful and intense. PS: Having sex for the first time also doesn’t have to be painful. Unfortunately, girls and young women in particular are still told the myth about the hymen, making them afraid of having sex.
Sex is a mystery: It’s different every time
“What do sex and orgasms feel like?” This question often crops up and there is NO definitive answer to it. This because sex is the greatest mystery known to humankind. Sex feels different every time and can be a different experience for and with every person. So, there really is no definitive guide to good sex or the best orgasms. Sex can also feel different with the same person. And every orgasm is unique. Most importantly, though, we have to understand sex and sexual desire differ on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes we just don’t feel very sexual and sex can be a bit forced. On other days or times in our lives, we can’t get enough and are “blessed” with multiple orgasms.
Sex is a great way to get to know yourself
And we’re not just talking about masturbation here. We can find out a surprising amount about ourselves just by observing what we tend to do on autopilot during sex and what kinds of contact, practices or desires we shy away from even though we’d actually quite like to try them out. After all, sex is more than just a penis, vulva and penetration. Through real intimacy, we can find out a little bit more about our souls.
Masturbation isn’t a taboo but something that helps with sex
Masturbation teaches us more about ourselves and can also improve the sex we have. Masturbation is a bit like training for sex. It not only allows us to relax but, by contracting the pelvic floor, it also trains our ability to have orgasms. You heard right. Anyone wanting to have better orgasms, should start masturbating regularly! And there’s no doubt that personal lubricant is a must for masturbating. Personal lubricant is the best way to make all contact more pleasurable whether it involves the penis, vulva or anus.
The clitoris is more than just a little “nodule”
Female desire remains a mystery, especially the clitoris and its anatomy. The clitoris is more than just a little “nodule”. In fact, it’s a very large area or, to be more exact, an organ measuring approximately 10-12 cm! So we should be paying lots of attention to it, also when masturbating. You can find out more about the vulva here.
Sex during your period is amazing
Unfortunately, having sex when menstruating is still a taboo for many, even though sex during your period is the perfect way to relieve cramps or headaches. Of course, having sex during your period does pose a few challenges for couples but these can be resolved for example with a menstrual cup or sponge, leaving you free to benefit from the extreme passion. Anal sex can also work wonders while menstruating so don’t be shy, try it out.
It’s NORMAL for your interests to evolve
Your sexual practices and interests may change over time and your sexual preferences can too. You might find that you like more intense or harder sex, or that you get turned on by different kinds of play, even if you didn’t before. Or you might find yourself becoming a bit “calmer” when it comes to sex. Your sexual orientation can also change as your experiences evolve. Be open and listen to your body.
Your male sex partner might not have a greater sex drive than you
In our society, it is assumed that women are less sexually active and have a lower sex drive than men, making them more or less the “guardians of monogamy”. However, EVERYONE is a sexual being and everyone has a different libido. The myth that men should always want more sex is not true. We all have days when our sex drive is a bit low, while on other days we can’t get into bed quick enough. Regardless of who you are and how much of a sex drive you have, everyone should be able to have as much sex as they want – provided it is all based on mutual consent, of course. Don’t let anyone tell you anything else!
You can’t have too much foreplay
Sometimes things really hot up, making a quickie the perfect option. As a general rule, though, foreplay is very important for all sexually active people. You really can’t have too much foreplay because the more excited you are, the more likely you are to experience intensive sex and orgasms. You’ll also learn something new every time about what you really like or which position you might be able to “tackle” in a different way. So try and slow things down and make sure you use personal lubricant to really enjoy an extended foreplay session.
So, we’ve taken a closer look at why sex education is so important and also seen what many of us wished we had known earlier about sex. After watching the start of the third season of Sex Education on Netflix, we really believe that films and TV programs should provide more information about sex as it can be really helpful.
We should never forget that myths and taboos can keep people trapped in a cycle of uncertainty and shame. Naming things by their correct names and knowing what is actually “inside” our sexual organs is a step in the right direction. If we can reduce the shame and embarrassment surrounding sex education then we will also feel less shame and embarrassment when it comes to acting out our fantasies (in later life). Being a sexual being is completely natural and also highly individual. Just like everyone’s sexual organs. After all, we all have gaps in our knowledge of anatomy and sexual awareness regardless of how old we are. So stay on the ball and keep learning.
What do you wish you had found out about sex earlier on in life? Tell us your story here and help educate us too!