Usually, it’s easier to give up than to carry on. That’s probably also why it’s rare to find a couple who truly mean it when they make the vow ‘for better, for worse’ these days. Nowadays, far too many people are no longer prepared to really fight for something. Instead, they’d rather give up on a relationship and look for a new partner. But what if it’s really worth fighting for, if you could only come out of a relationship crisis stronger, and if things could even be better than before? In most cases, it’s worth trying to save the relationship because, ultimately, there is a reason why you chose to be with your partner.
Tips for saving a relationship
Here at pjur love, we have put together a few tips to save your relationship, and we hope you rediscover your love for each other soon:
Things were better before…
Couples tend to have happy memories, particularly of the beginning of the relationship or of the phase when they were getting to know each other. What do you remember? The feeling of anticipation on your first date, or your first holiday together? Moving in together for the first time? Try to remember how you felt then. Usually, that’s enough to bring back at least some of the feelings you had. Talk about your memories of the past and about these early experiences. This will help you to feel this sense of a shared bond more keenly again.
Talk about your feelings
How do you feel about your partner, and when was the last time you told them? Sometimes, little compliments and demonstrations of love can bring a couple closer again. It also shows how much your partner means to you. You should tell your partner regularly how important they are to you. Even if you think they should already know, that makes it even nicer to hear it again.
Start the day together
Not all couples will be able to do this, but it may be possible – at weekends at least – to arrange things so that you can have breakfast together and talk about your day ahead. You should do this regularly if you can. In a relationship, we often live side by side and, at some point, find we no longer have anything to say to each other. Yet communication is important and also shows that we are interested in the other person. Our next tip looks at this in more detail.
Start having conversations again!
Couples, particularly those who have been together a long time and who live together, begin to live side by side rather than together. You no longer talk over a meal, you don’t know how your partner’s day went or how they actually are. Talk about how you’re doing, and about what you’ve been doing. Talking about past experiences can also help you to see what was different then compared with now – and to make a few changes, too.
Message each other throughout the day
WhatsApp and the like make it possible to stay in touch throughout the day. It doesn’t have to be constant, and sometimes a kiss smiley is enough to show your partner you’re thinking about them. Or make spontaneous arrangements for the evening. There are plenty of good reasons to send each other a message.
Do you look forward to seeing your partner?
Day-to-day life has a firm hold on us all. The week ahead is planned in advance, and only a very few couples really make time for each other after work. Instead, each person does their own thing, doing what they want. When asked whether they really look forward to seeing their partner after a long day, most people would probably answer with a rather hesitant ‘yes’. After all, it pretty much goes without saying that he or she will be there. Instead, you should give your partner a hug and kiss when they – or you – get home from work. You will no doubt find that your partner will happily return it.
Do something nice 😉
Go back to the restaurant where you first met, perhaps, or take a holiday to the place where you had your first holiday together – refreshing these memories can improve your relationship. Generally speaking, it’s important to go out together as a couple. And a DVD night in front of the TV doesn’t count! It may be cosier, but it doesn’t do anything to improve your relationship. Once in a while, you should treat yourself to a proper date instead.
Challenge yourself as well
Particularly in a crisis, you quickly reach a point where you blame your partner for everything. However, self-reflection – and perhaps a willingness to acknowledge some of your own faults, too, which have contributed to the current crisis in your relationship – is also vital if you want to save your relationship. A long-term relationship takes a lot of work, and both parties have to work constantly to make sure the relationship continues to work after several years.
What do you want?
What do you want for the future, and what needs to change to make you want to hold onto the relationship? It doesn’t matter if they are general issues or sexual desires – talk to your partner about them. That’s the only way anything can change.
It takes time to save a relationship
A relationship can only function if it has time invested in it – by both parties. If you want to save your relationship, you will need to give it enough time. Doing things together, having in-depth discussions and lots of patience are needed to save a relationship.
Experts talk of the four pillars that are central to relationships: love, trust and security, a fulfilling sex life, and successful communication. All of these are covered in our tips to save your relationship. We hope you will start doing more things together again, talk to each other, look forward to seeing each other, and enjoy a happy life together once more!