Homosexual Love = Heterosexual Love. Periodt! How do gay couples have sex and what we can learn here!

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Love is just wonderful. Whether that’s love between two men, two women or a man or a woman. However, gay sex is often stigmatized and not talked about. Which is odd. Because homosexual men and women have exactly the same sex as heterosexual men and women. In fact, we’d go as far to say that they might even have more intensive sex. Sex and the sexuality of every person is an intensive experience. And it’s an integral part of love, regardless of your sexual orientation. So let’s take a look at foreplay, how gay couples have sex and things to be aware of when practicing anal sex. <3

Just a recap – what does homosexuality mean?

Homosexuality refers to love and sexuality between two people of the same sex. If someone refers to themselves as “homosexual”, it’s an overarching term that means they are attracted to people of the same sex. Homosexual men are referred to as “gay” while homosexual women are called “lesbians”. Homosexual people also refer to themselves as “gay” and “lesbian”.

How is homosexual gay sex?

Some people immediately think it’s just about anal sex, which is a misconception. Because gay couples get intimate in the same way as heterosexual couples and also want to touch and feel their partners skin. Foreplay, stroking and discovering erogenous zones are extremely important.

“Gay” Foreplay

Depending on what turns you on, foreplay can be a great way to get your partner in the mood. But it’s also the perfect way to discover your partner’s body. Whatever its purpose, foreplay is a deeply individual thing for both homosexual and heterosexual couples. Massages, oral sex and mutual masturbation are definitely on the agenda. After all, everyone likes to be caressed and pampered, whatever your sexual orientation.

Gay couples also practice supposedly “taboo” techniques such as rimming (or anilingus (lat. anus “anus” and lingere “to lick”; also known as a rim job), anal fingering and anal toys. Heterosexual couples could really learn a thing or two here. But there is one small difference to heterosexual foreplay: Personal lubricant is a must – it’s the toothpaste you need to clean your teeth. This is because the penis and anus do not have any natural external lubrication. So, personal lubricant plays an important role in mutual masturbation and other games. It makes sure that users experience the right kind of friction and don’t orgasm too slowly or too quickly.


Sex toys for (gay) men

Sex toys can also be used to aid performance during foreplay. Gay men naturally focus more on the penis and anus, so stimulating products, anal chains and the corresponding anal sex toys can be really useful here. Butt plugs, dildos and anal vibrators are all used as well as toys such as (penis head) masturbators and torsos. Btw also heterosexual men could feel free to try these 😉

How do gay couples have sex?

Just like heterosexual couples, of course! Having a healthy sex drive is great regardless of your gender or sexual orientation. Of course, when it comes to sex between two men, anal sex takes centre stage. Preparation and trust are vital for anyone looking to practice anal sex.  Homosexual couples are often more experienced here and usually know about anal douches, expanding the anus and using personal lubricant. Nevertheless, we can’t stress enough that our bodies do not produce natural lubrication for anal intercourse, which makes personal lubricant a vital ingredient. A penis should never penetrate an anus in one push as this will result in pain and injury.

Serums are particularly effective when preparing for anal sex as they form a protective layer on the skin and help reduce sensitivity without numbing! Sprays with ingredients such as panthenol and aloe vera also help make the skin more elastic, enabling users to relax and enjoy harder anal sex.

We recommend that you always have sufficient supplies of personal lubricant to hand – ones that deliver superior lubrication and also care for the skin.



Who does what during anal sex*?

In contrast to heterosexual relationships, when it comes to gay sex, there is, of course, a “passive” and an “active” role – or the top and bottom as it’s also called. The active partner is the one who inserts their penis and achieves an orgasm through this penetration and friction. The passive partner reaches an orgasm anally as a result of the penetration and, sometimes, also again through the penis.

These roles are often fixed or partners choose one or the other in a relationship. In many cases, the roles are reversed in general or during sexual intercourse. Which brings us back to our original hypothesis: Having freed themselves from gender roles and norms, do homosexual people have more intense sex lives?

Let’s take a little detour and look at the division of roles: Unfortunately, heteronormative attitudes put the man on top and the woman on the bottom. So it’s no wonder that the subject of roles is hardly ever discussed by heterosexual couples and is even seen as a taboo (except in the context of BDSM). Heterosexual man can, of course, also be penetrated and heterosexual women can assume the active role during sex. You can find out more about adopting a sex-positive attitude here.

But let’s get back to gay sex and take another quick look at the key aspects of homosexual sex:

  • Imaginative foreplay, often including masturbation, rimming and anal sex toys
  • Personal lubricant, personal lubricant and more personal lubricant
  • Being well prepared for anal sex
  • Trusting your partner
  • Reaching agreement about roles and switching them


So, we’ve seen that – with a few small differences – both foreplay and sex are the same for homosexual and heterosexual couples. Homosexual Love = Heterosexual Love. Periodt!

However, the most important thing when it comes to sex is that we ALWAYS treat our partners with care and respect.  It should never hurt or be unpleasant. So why not try our pjur personal lubricants for yourself? And make sure you talk openly about your fears, worries, desires and needs. And if you haven’t already done so, free yourself from (gender) roles during sex. After all, the important thing is that we find the right person to share our love and tenderness.  Everyone should be free to love who they want!!!



* Anal sex and personal lubricant: Don’t forget the condoms
It goes without saying that all pjur personal lubricants are compatible with condoms, because it’s always best to be safe. Condoms protect against sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV, chlamydia, genital warts and anal gonorrhoea. So make sure you’re protected during anal sex.

Disclaimer: In our blog, we discuss all issues related to love and sex, including sex between two men and two women, heteronormative sex and all kinds of play. Depending on the blog article and headline, we may highlight extremes and unconventional practices. But this does not mean that we want to focus solely on differences or similarities, role clichés or social norms, or that we only want to compare homosexual and heterosexual practices – our readership is extremely diverse and inclusive and we are committed to making the LGBTQIA+ movement more visible. If you have any general questions regarding relationships and sex for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, non-binary or intersexual people that you know, please, always remember to ask the same, appropriate questions that you would ask a heterosexual person. Questions like: “How are you and your partner?”, “What’s your secret to a successful, genuine relationship?”, and “How can we continue to teach kindness and tolerance to the next generation?”

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