It’s something that’s soul-destroying, both for men and for women – premature ejaculation. You’re looking forward to a spine-tingling adventure and then it’s over before you’ve even got going. But what exactly do we mean by premature ejaculation, what can cause it and what can couples do to prevent it happening?
What exactly is premature ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation is the term we use to describe when a man reaches orgasm – and ejaculates – extremely quickly. But what is extremely quickly? Clarification is often needed on this point, since some people talk of coming too soon after ‘just’ five minutes of intercourse, whilst for others it means coming after just a few seconds.
‘Premature ejaculation’ is generally defined as follows: if a man suffers from premature ejaculation, he is unable to really control the moment of ejaculation and ejaculates either before penetration or just as he is about to penetrate his partner.
When a man comes too soon, not only is it very awkward and unsatisfying for him, but his partner also suffers. Because whilst she is hoping for a few moments of excitement, and possibly an orgasm, it usually ends in disappointment. But what causes premature ejaculation in the first place?
What can cause an early ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation can be caused by a variety of things. We usually distinguish between physical and psychological causes. Possible physical causes are diabetes mellitus or urinary tract infections, for example. A prostate infection or inflammation of the glans of the penis can also be responsible for an early ejaculation. But these are temporary causes. Once the infection has cleared, premature ejaculation should no longer be a problem. On the other hand, it’s a different matter when it comes to erectile dysfunction, which can also lead to early ejaculation. Certain medications – painkillers, for example – can also have an impact on the moment of ejaculation. In addition to the many physical causes of premature ejaculation, it can also be brought on by psychological problems. When it comes to satisfying their partners, many men suffer from a fear of failure, which can have an impact of ejaculation. Stress, relationship problems and a tendency for men to put too much pressure on themselves can also lead to premature ejaculation.
Can premature ejaculation be prevented?
First and foremost, it’s important to talk to each other. Men should talk to their partners about any anxieties they have, in case the root cause is psychological. Women should also be sympathetic and not criticise their partners. By making even small changes and building trust in the relationship, early ejaculation can be prevented. Affected couples should also try the following methods:
- The start/stop method: The point of this method is for men to learn to better understand and be more aware of their own ejaculation. To do this, the man should be stimulated until he reaches the highest possible level of arousal, known as the ‘point of no return’. At precisely this point, the man should stop and wait until the arousal has died down and then take himself back to the point of maximum arousal. This can be repeated multiple times, which can help men regain better control over ejaculation.
- The squeeze technique: In this technique, the man squeezes the tip of the penis just before reaching the point of ejaculation. By doing this, it is possible to prevent ejaculation just before it happens. Once the urge to ejaculate has passed, as with the other method this can also be repeated multiple times. The partner can also get involved with squeezing the tip of the penis.
In addition to these techniques, there are of course plenty of products on the market intended to help men combat premature ejaculation. These usually contain local anaesthetics such as lidocaine or benzocaine and have a numbing effect. Unfortunately, some of these products are only effective after 20 to 30 minutes. They also have the additional drawback that they can affect the woman’s genital area as well.
There are also a few other things men can do to prevent an early ejaculation:
- Breathing properly can have an effect on ejaculation. Instead of holding their breath just before reaching orgasm, men should concentrate on breathing in and out (assuming that’s possible in this situation ;))
- Rather than always thrusting in and out, it can be a good idea to move the pelvis in a circular motion instead. This allows you to keep your heart rate under much better control and stops you getting in quite so much of a frenzy.
- Talking of the pelvis – although pelvic-floor training is primarily associated with women, it can also be very helpful for the male orgasm. With targeted pelvic-floor training, it is possible to train the male sphincter muscle and the muscle which controls the flow of urine. This training can help men better control their ejaculation.
If none of this helps, men should see their doctor for advice. It is possible that there is a physical cause in this case. It can also be helpful to consult a doctor right at the start. A doctor usually knows better what the possible causes of the problem may be and, as a result, may find a solution more quickly too.
Couples should work together to get premature ejaculation under control. Only then can they both go back to enjoying carefree, spine-tingling adventures together once again ♥